Sonia Kruger is back as host. (Photo: Big Brother, Facebook)

Review: Big Brother back in Covid style

Big Brother has returned after six years and its original concept – a bunch of strangers locked in a house, unable to contact or see anyone else – hits home this year with Covid 19 doing the same to us -just without any prize money or cameras.

The show has not only switche area codes – moving from Queensland to Sydney – but is on a new channel, moving from Nine to Seven, with Sonia Kruger still in the driver’s seat. This makes BB a unique beast among Australian television programs, having now been aired by all three commercial networks since it launched on Ten in 2001.

Who wouldn’t want to be stuck within four walls with a bunch of random people strategically placed to test your behaviours and reactions? Get evicted? What difference would it make you go from a house of strangers isolated from loved ones to quarantine in a hotel for two weeks but without cameras?

The housemates range from 18 to 60 and have diverse backgrounds.

Kieran, who enters first, is billed as “Adelaide’s worst driver” and is given a task by Big Brother immediately: give each housemate a high five, not a weak snap. BB wants an in-your-face one.

Also, he is required to invent a nickname for each housemate and refer to them only by that.

Oh, and give them all a massage. Basically Big Brother wants Kieran to look like a total weirdo from the get-go. It’s also a secret mission to unlock the bedroom so they can all sleep in a bed, so it’s quite important.

Dan the Man is an ex footy player who was fired from the Gold Coast Suns and Carlton because he couldn’t hold the ball. Big Brother is his redemption, apparently.

Sportsbet’s social media person is really into Big Brother this year.

Angelicious is delicious; she grew up in Kenya and claims she works hard but then she states she grew up in the “Beverly Hills” of Kenya, explaining that she laid around and the maids did everything. She is going to be a hit this year, delivering lines like “where’s the steaks?” when she finds the spread is vegan.

Looks like Ange could do with a massage, Kieran.

There’s Crocodile Dundee with his camping gear. There’s a chance he hitch-hiked to Sydney and he is already concerned about the plants he will have to water. (I think they’re fake.)

Is that Paul Hogan’s step son!?

Marissa, 60-something and in a glittery New Year’s Eve dress, was a part of The Rancan Sisters. Her claim to fame : bringing aerobics to Australian TV.

We’ve got Allan. His video entry was him screaming “Allan” over and over, because he thinks when he hears it, it means someone is looking for him. We already know he is going to be annoying.

There’s a blonde girl who claims to have not brushed her perfectly curled hair all day, and a vegan named Laura — don’t call her L Dog, though. Kieran found that out the hard way.

Don’t call her L Dog, Kieran.

BB has his first argument, with none other than the Karen of the group. Storming into the Diary room when she notices there is no tea in the pantry. Her case to BB: it’s her house, and it’s a basic item.
This isn’t Big Brother, this is Angelicious’s House.

The first challenge is here and BB calls everyone to the basement, where we find Angelicious’s worst nightmare — manual labor. The housemates are to swing themselves onto the bars and place a ball on five different stands.

BB calls out Allan for his attempts getting nowhere, Kieran has given up and Angelicious never learned to push herself on the swings so she doesn’t make it past lying on the mat without her servants.

The blonde wins and the vegan is pissed. Fast forward and blonde nominates the Vegan, L Dog, Kieran and some girl named Zoe who I didn’t even know was in the house. L Dog is sure she is safe. After all she is the only one in the house who can cook. Meanwhile, Zoe is telling BB she is safe as they want her souvas.

Bit of a minute tweet, we don’t actually get a say.

Kieran is stressing so much I start to wonder if they did psych evaluations this year. Surely he isn’t ready for this.

The housemates vote and L Dog is out and she’s not happy about it. She tells them all during their heartfelt hugs and apologies” “You all did it to me so don’t apologise.”

Guess they didn’t want your vegan cooking.

There’s nobody waiting to cheer the evicted, there’s no Sonia offering a Nokia and $2000 gift card. There’s just a hire car and some good lighting to say goodbye.

My review in a nutshell: I would say this is just the light entertainment we need at the end of the day.