BB Final Week (Photo: Channel 7 facebook)

Big Brother: The Finale!

Welcome to the final week of Big Brother. With changes to the nominations and COVID-19, it’s safe to say the show has given many of its fans the dose of reality TV we needed.

Monday night’s episode focuses around Sophie being back after her stint in the ‘white room’ and Dan and Mat are still fuming. They haven’t walked despite the threats and psychic vibes I sent them to do Australia a favour and leave.

The challenge is yet another physical one and Sarah is at another disadvantage — being height challenged at 4ft 11. The housemates must fill their buckets with grain and run up a steep staircase and fill a funnel the size of a bed.

Mat gave Sophie the disadvantage he won last week and she must wait till the others fill their buckets before she can get her’s. Watching the sweat gleam of Dan’s schnoz is making me dry wretch but Sophie’s determined muttering of “I can do this”keeps her and the rest of Australia going.

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Sarah is the first out and is automatically up for elimination. There’s a clear line in the sand that’s been visible for weeks now: Mat and Dan against Sophie and Chad. Mat has that advantage so we’re told he also gets two votes in tonights elimination. Unless Sophie and Chad win the next challenge its Bye Bye Sophie…again.

Challenge number 2 is a fight for your life, literally. Big Brother shows them a cage the housemates must lie in and unlock padlocks while water fills it up. When did BB become a sadist!? We’re now watching an episode of Houdini and I’m pretty sure he drowned, its not looking good for Chad who tells BB he is petrified of water.

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Chad absolutely kills the challenge and the saying ‘fight or flight’ really applies here because that fear got a fire in his chiselled stomach. He puts Mat up for elimination. Mat is so sure he isn’t going home he has the audacity to ask BB if he needs to pack his bags.

Channel 7 is doing a brilliant job of editing this episode. We spend more than 10 minutes watching Dan consider eliminating Mat. No one was fooled guys. He sends Sarah packing and Australia is setting up a crowdfunder right now so she can get her Toyota Corolla.

The final four are Sophie, Chad, Mat and Dan. They wake up on the last day and Sophie tells Chad in bed she is an early riser. We’re seeing cracks already when he tells her he isn’t.

Awks.

Big Brother shows a montage of the evicted housemates congratulating them on making it this far and it’s bittersweet. I always think I would be one of those petty people who tell them all they don’t deserve it.

Challenge time for the last time! It’s another boring game of balls rolling down a slide and Chad, who has yet another ‘injury’ (is a blister considered an injury these days?) wins it.

Cue Mat and Dan silently crying in the bathroom, their dreams of being the bromance that makes it to the top three really die right then and there and you can see it in their eyes. This is when Mat learns being from Broken Hill and a really shit bloke doesn’t pay off.

He says it best in the diary room: “I’m here to show Australia nice guys don’t always finish last.”

At this point it’s Chads game and its up to him to pick between Mat and Dan to eliminate. Sonia asks Chad if it’s between them. The camera spans to Sophie and we are waiting for the plot twist — that he votes his girl out. I’m kind of disappointed he doesn’t as everyone knows it would be a killer game move.

The boys plead there cases one final time and Chad says goodbye to Mat. Welcome to the Top 3, Chad, Sophie and Dan!

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Finale night is here and the evicted housemates — minus the Victorian locked-in evictees — are in the small studio. Socially distancing, of course. I don’t even know where to start on the outfits. I know Channel 7 really blew the bank here on the prizemoney but they really should have shelled out some money for a stylist.

Finales are never really interesting, let’s be honest, and this isn’t bringing any feels. Mean girl Talia’s only real input was to share that she feels she had the hardest challenge of them all and she won it. Sonia quickly turns to someone else who can add some value.

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It’s a gruelling hour of chatting to ex housemates that we don’t care about, so I’ll get to the pointy end.

Sonia calls out the finalists to the stage and as much as I love Sophie, I wonder why they let Marisa dress her from her own wardrobe, with that 80’s style shoulder pad dress. She is tiny and the pads really emphasize that. Especially as she is strategically placed as the rose between the two thorns that are Chad and Dan.

I can tell from Dan’s face he knows he hasn’t got a chance, but kudos to him for still turning up and giving us another chance to see the same shirt he has been rocking for months now.

And the winner is…. CHAD! I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve it but, well yeah i am saying it. He played an average game and the only redeeming thing is he has agreed to share it with Sophie. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be crying in the corner applying for Big Brother 2021.

(Photo: Channel 7)